It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent – Madeleine K. Albright
This week on Couch Conversations With Nelle the topic is on how to find your voice. If you missed the episode It is on the gram @embracingnelle so check it out.
Now that you’re all caught up because I assumed that you went and watch the conversation we can begin talking. We all have a voice and even if we don’t think we do, it’s there. Screaming and begging to be heard. And while it is screaming to be heard we are struggling to find yourself not realizing that our voice and our identity go hand in hand.
So rather we want to admit that we have a voice we all need to at least know what that voice sounds like. And that is what I want to share with you today. How to find that voice of yours that needs to be heard. Finding your, voice is part of the journey of embracing who you are.
When I first started my journey of self embrace I did not think that my voice would be the first thing I discovered. Growing up in a house where what I had t say kind of mattered but didn’t did wonders for my self-esteem. It pushed it in a box and stifled it. And because of that I lost my identity and had to fight to discover me and my uniqueness. Only to realize all that starts with finding my voice again and discovering what I have to say to the world. That is why I am sharing with you How to find your voice: 5 life-changing tips.
Make a decision
The first and most important part of the journey to finding your voice is to decide to do it. It’s that simple. Decide to discover what you have to say to the world and you will see that a door will open. You will discover why finding your voice is important to you. Once you decide to find out what you have to say you will begin to listen to yourself and it is an automatic process. Before you know it you would have trained your brain with just a decision to take mental internal inventory of the person you want to be.
So with all the encouragement in the world make that decision. Not for others but for yourself. Here’s a side tip: don’t wait for motivation to help you make your decision. Motivation will come with time. But simply deciding to discover your voice will be enough to embark on the journey.
Do something creative
A great way of finding your voice is to do something creative. I mean anything you can think of. If writing is your thing do it, photography, music and so on. The world of creativity just has a way of opening up that inner you allowing you to shine.
The best part of the process of creativity is that it doesn’t have to be anything big or something you are good at. Because you can always learn. Let it be something as small as poetry that only you will read, scarp-booking, gardening to starting a blog. But no matter what it is, do something.
Doing something creative allows you to express that inner you in a way that will surprise you. The world is your oyster and you are the author of your creativity. Don’t forget to shut that little voice inside you that tells you you can’t do something. its a liar and you can do whatever you set your mind to. Even if you have to learn it.
Be kind to your inner child
This is the biggest part when you think of how to find your voice. It is something that is often overlooked and not spoken about. We all have that inner child that speaks up all the time. But our first instinct is to shut her up. Why? because she is too…(add your complaints against her here.) For me, she is too sensitive. She is easily hurt and feels things that I sometimes don’t care for as an adult. She is needy, and she is clingy. However, she is ME and I love her. I let her speak and when she says something that would often make me react in anxiety. Acknowledged her and I reassure her and make her feel heard.
AND GUEST WHAT? you need to do the same to your inner child. If finding your voice is important to you then you can’t hold her down. You can’t stifle her emotions, and what she is feeling. Because here’s a little known secret, she knows who she is and she wants to let you know the same. So be nice to your inner child. Better yet be nice to yourself. Speak kindly to you, listen to yourself, learn your self. Because 9 out of 10 times what your voice is tied in with your inner child.
Spend time with yourself
One of the biggest and most important things you can do for yourself is to spend time with you. We live in a generation where being busy is the popular thing to do. And as women not only are we SUPPOSED to be busy but we are SUPPOSED to care for everyone else. Especially as black women. We know how to be everything to everyone. BUT ourselves.
Well if finding your voice is important to you. Then you have to become important to you as well. And it starts with spending time with yourself. That means you have to learn how to say NO to those who love to monopolize your time. When you begin to say NO to them then you can say YES to yourself. With that free time, you can take yourself to the movies, spend time at home alone. Learn what you love, what you don’t like doing, and spending time on that hobby you never got around to. Whatever you choose to do, do it for you and spend time with yourself.
Shut out, other people
If you are asking what is the biggest secret on your journey of how to find your voice. The answer is to learn to shut out others.
I once read an article from a fellow blogger where she stated she hid her blog from her family and friends. Because she did not want the negativity in her life. And to be honest with you I agree with her. When you embark on a journey to freedom and self embrace such as finding your voice. Other people seem to think that their opinions matter.
They try harder than ever to stifle what you have to say. Attempting to put your back “in your place” so to speak. Call it jealousy, envy, or whatever you want but in the end, they are just threatened by your growth. So be warned.
That’s all folk. 5 tips on how to find your voice. If you missed the Couch Conversation With Nelle check it out on the gram @embracingnelle. In the meantime don’t forget to hang out with me on Facebook and pin with me on Pinterest.