Good morning y’all this week in couch conversations with Nelle we are talking about saying “NO”. January is over and we have successfully finished a new month. YAY. And we are looking to change our life and embrace ourselves. But there is a small problem. WE CAN’T SAY NO.
HOWEVER, It’s not our fault. All of our lives we have been trained to say yes. And God forbid we were to say no somehow that’s going to start the apocalypse. For some reason, we believe that if we say no, it will trigger the butterfly effect and we won’t be born. As if the world revolves around us and not the Lord Jesus Christ.
I know it sounds as if I’m making a huge deal out of this. But to be honest that’s how we are wired. Saying no feels like a big deal instead of freedom. That is why I want us to talk about how saying you have a positive impact on our lives. Especially as women of color.
Saying NO is actually one of the most freeing things you can do for yourself. It sets you free from not just yourself but other’s expectations of you. It is a magic word that breaks the chains of bondage to others.
Saying NO gives you your power back. Something that as black women or women, in general, we are so quick to give to others. But with just one word we can step forward into reclaiming our power. That is how saying now gives you back your freedom.
Give you your time back
The older I get the more I realize the value of time and the more I learn to cherish it. We waste so much time trying to please others. That we forget to use some time on ourselves.
One of the biggest things you give away when you refrain from saying no is your time. The time for yourself, the time to be with the ones you love, the time to embark on a journey of self-love and embrace.
Our time on this earth is short and should not be wasted on those who love to abuse it. One of my favorite sayings is ” Three things you can’t recover in life: the word after it said, the moment after it’s missed, and the time after it’s gone.”
Allows you to focus on you
There used to be a time when I was always busy. I mean really busy. Saying yes to everything and everyone. And because that was my life I didn’t have the time to focus on me. The crazy part about it is if I had just said no then I would have had the time I needed for myself. Maybe get to wash my hair.
That is the power of saying no. the number 3 of the 6 mind-blowing reasons to start saying NO is to focus on yourself. When you say no to others you free your time allowing you to take care of you.
For example, simply having the time to wash your hair is important and can make such a big difference in your life.
Saying no can and does give you that the time you want for yourself. But the power lies with you speaking up.
Saying NO is empowering. It gives you back control of yourself and the situation you find yourself in. Most of the time we say yes because we feel that people will hate us.
Because of that, we aim to please them by not saying no.
If a person deciding factor of rather or not they like you depends on you saying yes all the time to their needs. To be honest that person is selfish and is a parasite in your life.
That person is taking your power. and sis it’s time to get your power back. And you get your power back by taking control of your yes and your no. stop people-pleasing it does not help you advance in life. It only holds you back.
Help Set Boundaries
Saying No helps you set boundaries. As an adult, the biggest lesson I had to learn was how to set boundaries.
I mean really set them. Not saying I’m going to set them but don’t.
And setting boundaries starts with you saying NO. It tells people that you are an important individual. It tells people that you are in control and it shows them where your line is in the sand. Trust me on this saying NO is one of the biggest boundaries you can set.
Lastly saying no helps you reduce stress. As women of color and just women, we are overburden with stress.
We are overworked, always on the go, and the holder of all. That is why stress is killing us. However, simply saying NO to a full schedule can reduce your stress significantly.
You get time to just do nothing. I know it sounds crazy but doing nothing is actually good for you. So trust me say no and watch the stress melt away.
There you have it the 6 Mind-Blowing Reason To start Saying NO. So grab a friend sit on a couch and have a conversation. If you have missed any of the couch conversations don’t forget to check them out on Instagram @embracingnelle. Let me know what you think and share a topic that you would like to talk about.
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What do you think?